Trust but verify: health certificate

11 months ago

Sex dating brings not only pleasure but also some risks. Every man and woman should save their health from them. 

When it comes to contraception or a certificate about different sexually transmitted diseases analyses you can feel confused and uncomfortable. How to ask this document tactfully? We speak about it in this article. 

If you decided to have sex with a new partner you got two options. First one: you use contraceptives and a condom of course. The second one: ask him to show a certificate about his intimate health condition. This certificate is a list of analyses for sexually transmitted diseases that is approved by a doctor..  

Everytime you want to have sex with a new partner this question is appropriate. By the way if you have long relationship, getting tested twice a year. The certificate remains actual for three months. So if the document that your partner shows you is older than this, he needs to get tested again. 

Actually you don’t need to think about tact when asking such questions. It’s good that you don’t want to hurt him but your health is much more important than being polite with your partner. 

Suggest getting tested together

Suggest doing it to make sex more comfortable and pleasant for both of you. First you won’t make him think that you treat him with prejudice, And second he won’t be nervous if you both go to a clinic. Even if he is sure in his health he can feel uncomfortable and think that you don’t trust him at all. 

Tell him about your worries

Don’t be rude and sharp while raising this subject otherwise you can hurt his feelings. Don’t use phrases like “I am afraid you can infect with something”, “I don’t want to catch anything from you”. Be frank and tell him that you just worry about health. Make him understand that you don’t want to think about anything else while having sex. Inform him that sex is one of the ways of transmission of many different diseases. It’s surprising but all people know about it and not everybody has a habit to care about  health even having some uncomfortable feelings. 

Refuse sex if it’s necessary

A man who cares about his health and respects you will never treat such question negatively. But sometimes men react aggressively if they suggest getting tested. Your partner can assure you that he doesn’t have any problems and all his previous relations were “clean”, still it’s up to you decide. And of course you don’t want to play Russian roulette. So if your partner doesn’t want to hear anything about analyses and refuses using condoms, say no to him. Oral sex is also questionable is such case. 

Choose a right moment

Of course sex with a new partner is more a spontaneous thing than a planned one. But try to as the certificate before you find yourself in a bed with a new lover. Of course it’s not very romantic and don’t need to do it at the first date. But if this is a date for one night sex, such certificate must be one of the mandatory attributes of the dinner. By the way in the USA and Europe this culture of certificates is developed really good. So if your new partner lives in one of these countries he won’t get hurt by your question. 

Always remember your health is very important and only you can care about it. An impulse to have sex is not worth treating diseases. Such treatment can take too much time and even a whole life.

Alison Bean